I’ve created some new accessories for my Munny! I used Super Sculpy and the boiled the pieces before painting them. Here some pics I took of the process and final product:

Here are the accessories, modelled on a black Munny figure:

Also an older set of Munny Chef accessories I made but never posted:

That’s right, rub your disbelieving eyes because this is the real deal… real fake that is. Alas this is not a real giant ice cube tray, but a mockup I conjured up using photoshop. This is the dream, people!

Boy, it stank in my apartment. The smell hit me like a wall when I walked in and became stronger as I walked around. “Phew, what is that smell?” Sniffing around, I found the smell became stronger towards the back of the room. Near the desk. No… it was something on the desk… my laptop? Yes, it was definitely the laptop. Phew!

I flipped open the cover and woke it up from sleep mode. My blog was lept open on the screen, the smell now more intense than ever. Uck!

“Well what did you expect,” she said, suddenly appearing behind me, “you did leave the page open all night long…” She walked over and snapped the lid down, sealing in the smell again.

“I’m afraid it seems the blog has become cheesy and stale.”

“Thanks for making the metaphor so literal!” I pulled my t-shirt up to cover my mouth and nose. “Umm, why is it so cheesy exactly?”

“Oh, you mean besides the stories you write about giant ice cubes or your bits of useless fiction? Well it could be these so called ‘reflections on real-life’ you’ve added recently.”

“I thought they were well written! You know sometimes I DO have interesting/insightful things happen to me. Sometimes…”

“Umm, hmm.” She walked over to the couch and sat down, feet up on the coffee table. I sat at my desk and opened the laptop again. I was getting used to the ripe smell of the cheddar. “People do visit the site though, I don’t know how much they take away from what they read here, but I do get visitors.” I said. “Besides, it’s MY  blog, and I can cook up whatever cheese I want on here!”

“Oh ok, well then by all means proceed! Give your loving fan-base the three-cheese blend they long for!” She tossed me a sarcastic smirk. I threw her back one in reply, then turned back to the laptop and wrote another story about giant ice cubes. Give the people what they want ;)

“Have you seen this show?” My dad’s calling this to me from the TV room. I’m seated in an armchair down the hall with a book,  from here I can only see the tips of my dad’s feet hanging off the end of his recliner. The feet call out again, “It’s called Destroyed in Seconds, they are going to blow up a whale with dynamite!”

I have actually seen the show before and the exact episode my Dad’s referring to. Even though one’s imagination can depict exactly what the show is about to – a whale being blown into a shower of meat – one cannot help but watch with curiosity. “Yeah I’ve seen that one before” I call back. One can only watch a whale blown to bits so many times before you can be bored by it.

“Seen what?” my Mom asks, now joining the conversation. She steps halfway into the TV room to the sound of a muffled explosion on the TV. “Oh…my God…”  My Dad’s laughing and I can see the tips of his feet wiggling up and down with each chuckle. My mom now takes a seat to watch the instant replays of the spectacle. Everyone’s so busy these days and with their own priorities that it’s harder and harder to bring the family together. Sometimes I guess all it takes it a beached whale a ton of TNT. I put my book down and join them as another muffled explosion comes from the TV and it rains whale bits on the screen.

There’s something about hair dressers or barbers that makes me uncomfortable. I think it has to do with their ability to make me say things I wouldn’t tell anyone else. When I’m in that chair, I’m not only a customer of theirs but I’m also their prisoner. Simple questions like “what do you do for a living” can eventually have me talking about plans for my personal future, problems with money or the success for my friend’s careers. Stuck in that chair, I feel obligated to answer these questions rather than drag out an awkward 15 minutes of silence as they work away at my hair. I suppose it could be worse though, I could be stuck in that chair listening to their thoughts. That was Tuesday.

My barber had some things he wanted to say. Personal things he wanted to tell someone so bad, and I was the lucky one strapped in his chair. He had DEATH on the mind.

“You’re young, probably think you’re invincible eh? Don’t nod your head! Yeah life’s good right, the future is far away, so many things to worry about that you’re not thinking about death huh?”

At this point he stops cutting the hair entirely and comes around to the front. Leaning on the counter he points the buzzer at me like one would a finger when trying to make an important point.

“But death catches us all mate. When you hit thirty you’ll see. People around you start dropping like flies, and suddenly you’re saying ‘Holy shit, what have I done with my life?’ ” Become a barber at a cheap hair salon apparently. He goes back around to continue cutting.

I try to reply to his comments but being that he is behind me and has the buzzer going it seems like I’m talking to myself in the mirror. Without hearing my reply he finishes his thought, ”And you know, when you die… you don’t even know you’re dead. That’s the craziest part mate. It’s just all gone in a flash!”

He finishes up the hair cut and gives me a sweeping with that weird dust broom thing barbers have. I pay the fee and leave. On my way home, I think about how I could be mugged walking down the street, I could be hit by a car crossing the road, I could ride a subway that might never make it, and even when I arrive safely home I could have a heart attack and die.  Seems like death has procrastinated killing me for 25 years now, so if he’s willing to wait till tomorrow, so am I. I make some dinner and put away the left overs for a tomorrow that might never come.

Standing around with a group of friends waiting for a theatre to let out. Opening weekend for a big film. The lobby is filling with other show watchers, everyone gathers into small huddles with their friends and significant others. Now, when that theatre door opens everyone is going to rush the door. Hopefully you’ll be close enough to the door to beat the crowds in and to the good seats.

OR

Instead of forming another circle of people near the theatre door, we stand by the door in single file. Face to back. Now having four or more individuals makes this really work, but someone is going to see your group standing in a line and line up behind you. Then someone will line up behind them. Like moths to the flame they form a line into the theatre, a line which YOU are now at the front of.

People love order to chaos, and so a line makes sense to most people. THAT, and they don’t want to get stuck at the back. Now what of the people that decide to skip the line and go into the theatre anyways. Ahh, well that’s where mob mentality comes in. You not only have a line, you have fifty people backing you up. Literally. No one’s going to want to skip the line, lest they feel the wrath of the whole mob.

I know this sounds crazy, but this works much better than you think it would. Form a line and watch what happens. You’ll be getting into movies alot faster, trust me!

I tend to over-think pretty much everything. It’s some sort of self-defense mechanism to help avoid making mistakes through rash decisions. Sometimes it’s obvious I’m over-thinking a problem but usually I just seem confused and look at you with a blank stare (In these cases what I’m really doing is pondering all the possible outcomes and circumstances for the situation and determining which will yield the best results. Duh!)

After much more thought, I’ve decided this best illustrates my thought process:

Hopefully seeing my thought process laid out in such a beautifully drawn flow chart will lead to people having a better understanding of me, and the complex processes that take place in my head. I’m not slow, I’m just very calculated…

A Smileandnod blog public service announcement:

Smileandnod has a developed a bit of an identity crisis as you might notice. One story is about me, one is fiction, one is a link, next is something intelligent but is  bookended by two stupid entries… it’s kind of a mess.

But originally this blog was set up as a place for me just to write, because I enjoy creative writing. So in that spirit, I will continue to write shit up here on a weekly basis. This blog has no real theme or purpose and if you manage to find something useful here, wow. I don’t even know if anyone out there is reading any of this, but if you are I congratulate you.

Thank you for wasting your time here :)

I’ve been going to the same accountant for years. Located in a small office downtown, I visit him about this time each year to file my taxes. He is fast, inexpensive and never makes a mistake. In wanting to keep a good business relationship going with the man I’ve avoided asking him something that has always bothered me about him. Curiosity finally got the best of me…

“Are you really Santa Claus?”

The old man stopped typing on the computer and looked up at me over his bifocals. He let out a world weary sigh and tapped the little gold name plate on his desk. “That’s what the sign says, doesn’t it?” The sign did indeed say SANTA CLAUS.

“I see that, but are you really HE. The Santa Claus?  Red suit, sleigh and reindeer and the whole deal?”

“North Pole, elves, cookies and milk… yeah the whole thing. That’s me.” His office chair creaked as turned back to face the computer. His chubby hands danced nimbly over the keys.

“You’re not being sarcastic are you? You’re really him! But why do you work here, in an accounting office? Is this what you do during the rest of the year? Why aren’t you in the North Pole? Who makes the toys while you are away? Wait till my friends hear about…”

“Enough!” he interrupted. “My god, you don’t ever shut up do you? This is exactly why I try to keep a low profile!” The old man opened his desk drawer and withdrew and huge old book bound in leather. He thumbed through the pages until he found the one with my name on it, grabbed a sharpie and wrote a huge “NAUGHY” in the book. Slamming the book shut, he put it back and in the drawer and said to me, “our business is done. Please leave my office.”

I stood up and walked out. Looking back, I saw him wiggle his nose and turn into golden pixie dust. The whole office sparkled into powder as well, then it flew through the AC unit. Papers, framed photos, office plants and computer all gone, leaving behind an empty office with desk and chair. After he’d disappeared I realized  he took off with all my receipts and invoices!  A jolly old man, but what an unprofessional accountant!

Eating my lunch at work, I can’t help but feel I’m being judged. I feel that people might use my lunch-time meals as a measure for how I live my life. Having tuna on white bread vs a combo from McDonalds vs a salad all say very different things about how I my views on personal health, money, time and maybe even appreciation for good food in general.

That being said, it is important to bring a good looking lunch to work. Here are some quick tips to spruce up your bag lunch’s appearance:

1. Asparagus
Whether it’s chicken or pork, sausages or pasta, asparagus instantly upgrades the appearance of any meal. Cooks as easily as broccoli or any other vegetable you’d steam, but it looks fancy because asparagus is what they use in food photography (check out any Campbells soup can or recipe book).

2. Garnishs
Yes even on bag lunches brough to work, garnishes are that finishing touch that makes your meal the envy of the staff kitchen. Just carry a sprig of parsley with you which can help dress up almost any meal. Or if you are a sandwich fan, bring some of those little toothpicks with the colored paper on the ends.

3. Extras
Any one can eat pasta for lunch, but melt some cheese on that bad-boy and Mmmm boy! Add a spoon of sour cream to a boring pile of beans, top it off with parsley and voila! (I don’t know if sour cream goes on beans, but it looks good). Instead of a regular ham sandwich, use tiny egg buns and cut them diagonally. Curl the ham inside so it stacks more tighter and more vertically giving your sandwich a more full appearance. Also extras next to the food, like cherry tomatoes or pickles or a little bit of salad help too.

4. Packaging
Finally, it’s what outside your food that counts too. You don’t want to be that guy who brings in the picnic size Thermos lunch bag full of Tupperware containers, but having a nice reusable lunch bag, or a paper bag looks better than old ratty bags from the supermarket. But we’re not eating the packages so it’s not critical, but details matter and packaging is an important detail! (Bonus, if you have very nice packages, keep it on the table near your food for maximum visibility and association with your lunch).

Bon appetit!